New Year’s Resolutions
By Keith “Catfish” Sutton
It’s that time of year again—time to write down a list of New Year’s resolutions. Most years, I’ve forgotten my resolutions before the first bass are spawning in the shallows. But 2024 will be different. You see, I have discovered the key to success in the resolution department: Lowered Expectations.
I know now that in years past, I’ve always given up because I set my sights too high. Therefore, this year, I will aspire to lesser heights. I have picked goals I can more reasonably expect to attain, as you will see in the list that follows.
- I resolve not to prepare my Super Secret Stinkbait using my wife’s kitchen blender. Or her new Pioneer Woman storage containers.
- And while we’re talking about bait, I also resolve not to use the toilet in our guest room as a live-bait tank.
- While in camp, I resolve not to eat cabbage or Beanie Weenies before bedtime.