Page From the Past: A Protest

Page From the Past: A Protest

In Volume 89 of the British periodical Punch, dated August 1, 1885, we find published this poetic objection to the proposed introduction of catfish into English waters. The author of the poem was not named, and despite his valiant attempt to prevent the spread of whiskerfish in European waters, several species, including the channel catfish and the enormous wels, eventually became established in England and elsewhere.

Oh, do not bring the Catfish here!

The Catfish is a name I fear.

Oh, spare each stream and spring,

The Kennet swift, the Wandle clear,

The lake, the loch, the broad, the mere,

From that detested thing!

The Catfish is a hideous beast,

A bottom-feeder that doth feast

Upon unholy bait;

He’s no addition to your meal,

He’s rather richer than the eel,

And ranker than the skate.

His face is broad, and flat, and glum;

He’s like some monstrous miller’s thumb;

He’s bearded like the pard.

Beholding him the grayling flee,

The trout take refuge in the sea,

The gudgeons go on guard.

He grows into a startling size;

The British matron ‘twould surprise

And raise her burning blush

To see white catfish as large as man,

Through what the bards call “water wan,”

Come with an ugly rush!

They say the Catfish climbs the trees,

And robs the roosts, and down the breeze

Prolongs his caterwaul.

Oh, leave him in his western flood

Where the Mississippi churns the mud;

Don’t bring him here at all!