Page From the Past: Catfish Courtship and River Rivalry
By Robert P. Tristram Coffin
In this lighthearted poem from 1943, Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Robert P. Tristram Coffin imagines a romantic rendezvous between two river catfish—one from the mighty Mississippi and one from the bold Ohio. First published in Primer for America, the piece playfully pits regional pride against romance, with each fish boasting about the strength, beauty and character of their home waters and kinfolk. But what begins as a spirited exchange of river pride quickly turns flirtatious, leading the finned couple downstream toward Memphis with love on their minds. It’s a fanciful reminder that even beneath muddy waters, there’s room for poetry, humor—and a little sweet talk between fish.
A catfish from up Mississippi
Met upon a Summer’s day
A pretty catfish of the Ohio
Primping down Paducah way.
He puffed out his handsome barbels
Like a porcupine’s sharp quills,
The girl-catfish from Ohio
Blushed back to her tingling gills.
“We Upper Mississippi catfish
Swim a river like the sea,
We are a strong and handsome outfit,
And at our best we look like me.”
“Ohio catfish,” said the lady,
“Are not so short on strength or looks,
Many a male-cat for my favor
Chews up the largest size in hooks.”
“We breed the hardest, toughest boatmen,
They chew board-nails and spit out rust.”
“When Ohio bargemen quarrel,
One goes to bed with worms and dust.”
“The Upper Mississippi women
Are so lovely, the men run mad!
“Our gamesome women,” said Ohio,
“Make ten husbands wish they had.”
“The boys we raise up in Iowa
Are earth’s liveliest and worst.”
“Our Ohio boys make Satan
So envious that he could burst.”
“In that case,” cried young Mississippi,
“There’s only one thing we can do:
Add two fine halves and make perfection,
Add handsome me to pretty you.
“And we will fill Lower Mississippi
With the best small catfish in the world!”
So down towards Memphis, fin to barbel,
They swam with tails up amorously curled.
