Page From the Past: Catfish Catching Squirrels
By Daniel Mallory
It was in 1842 that Daniel Mallory wrote “Short stories and reminiscences of the last fifty years,” a two-volume collection of tales about the places he visited and the eccentric characters he met while traveling around the Mississippi River Valley almost 200 years ago. Among the tales he put on paper is this one about two bombastic storytellers trying to outdo one another in relating the incredible things they had come across during their travels. It goes like this:
As usual, after dinner, someone told a story; and this man, as usual, immediately responded that it was nothing to what he knew, and then began to narrate the wonders of his tale, which, as usual, was evidently manufactured on the spot for the occasion, — full of extravagant improbabilities if not impossibilities. As soon as he had closed, L–leaned over the table toward him, and his mild and amiable tones replied, that “that was nothing to what he had seen in his country!”
“In your country!” said Mr. Modesty, in perfect amazement that one so young and unpretending should dare to outdo him, the chief of story-tellers. “And pray, sir, where is your country, as you call it?”
“I live in the Ohio country,” was the modest reply.
“And what the d– have you seen, young man, in your country that is so very wonderful?”
“I have seen,” said L–, “catfish that would weigh a hundred weight, more than a mile from the river, in the woods, catching squirrels! and with good success, too!”
The whole matter and manner was so exceedingly well-timed and put together, that a burst of applause was general throughout the table; and the gentleman who had on all other occasions put himself forward as cock of the walk, was humbled into silence; and the next day took good care to seat himself away from the conspirators.
